Of all the questions that come to us via e-mail, blogs, telephone calls, and posts on our message board, the most frequently asked question is: Why born-again Mormon?

Many in the Christian community tend to reject the idea that anybody who claims to be Mormon can be genuinely born-again while many in the LDS community tend to put the definition of Mormon in their own box.

Point 1

Perhaps the most important point of our name is that a person can be born-again through Jesus Christ WHILE an active member of the LDS Church. How can we say this? Because it happened to us! Did we know the real biblical Jesus prior to being reborn? No. We were still under the theological impressions of the LDS teachings about Jesus. Why is this important? Because we were born-again as Mormons. Hence the name. Only thereafter were we able to clearly see the difference between Mormonism and biblical Christianity and only thereafter were we in a position of faith to walk from faulty doctrine.

The word Mormon, in this day and age, is as much of a cultural title as it is a doctrinal statement. When people hear that someone is Mormon they often think more of how that translates into lifestyle, behavior, and attitude than the theology of the religion. The theologies that seem to surface in reference to the word Mormon is usually stuff that isn't even practiced any longer (polygamy, priesthood bans) or it walks hand in hand with LDS culture (Word of Wisdom, modesty, etc.). Born-again Mormons use the term culturally, meaning we are first born-again by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, and we have had, or currently have, an association with the Mormon Church.

We use the term Mormon the way a Jew uses the word Jew, a woman uses the term Woman, or a South African uses the title of South African. We believe the operative words of the Lords gospel imperative are you must be "Born-Again" and not the denominational title that follows. Therefore, we think the titles Born-Again Jew or Born-Again Catholic are just as appropriate as Born-Again Mormon. Activity, allegiance, locale, or obedience to an institutions rules or doctrines actually have very little to do with the name. If a woman doesn't behave or believe what women do or believe, it doesn't change the fact that she is a woman. If a Jew doesn't embrace the tenets of Judaism, he is still a Jew. If a South African hates the South African government, lives in New York, and renounces everything about his national ancestry, he is still a South African. Latter-day Saints have had very little problem accepting the title, "Jack-Mormon" to describe a person who is at odds with their doctrine and practices. Born-again Mormon may be applied in a similar way.

Point 4

In 1997 I was an active Latter-day Saint. I was at a point in my life that I truly needed to know the Lord personally. Long story short, I heard a pastor on the car radio, pulled over to the side of the road, and asked the Lord to take over my life, will, and ways. Again, long story short, He changed my life that day. It was a miracle. It was not of this world. It was lasting and undeniable. The interesting thing is, He did not yank me from Mormonism on that same day. In fact, I still believed many of the things I had been taught as a Latter-day Saint. I wasn't sure what to do, and knowing no other way than the LDS way, I continued to actively participate in the LDS church. But I was a BORN-AGAIN MORMON. Get it? And it took me four years of reading and study and hearing God's Word from other places to understand the problems with the LDS Church. And then I left. Please don't tell me there is no such thing as a born-again Mormon. It is just not true. So what is the point?

The point is our ministry seeks to get Latter-day Saints, whether active or not, to give Jesus a chance in their lives. To become born again in spite of the religion they belong to. Why? Because once He has them, He leads them to where He wants them to ultimately be. He did me.

Finally, there have been hundreds of Mormons and Christians alike who know exactly what our title means. To them, no explanation is needed. As a result, we believe that those who find themselves unable to "get it" (their words, not ours) actually do get it, but maybe just don't want to admit it. We pray someday they will.

From Appendix 2 in "I Was A Born-Again Mormon"

The following is a recital of questions I have been asked by members of the Church regarding spiritual rebirth, Born-Again Mormon, and my "views" of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Most of them have been posed by friends and family but a number of them came from emails I’ve received from strangers kind and rude. There are undoubtedly many errors in my replies. Always turn to the Word of God when searching to discover the complete truth about God and His will. This being said, I am certain that this appendix will lend to a greater understanding of Born-Again Mormon and my views as the person behind it all.

"I’m a Mormon who has been born again, and I believe in modern-day prophets, the Book of Mormon, Temple work, and everything else the Church provides. Where do I fit in according to your view?"

There are several responses to your question, all of which are acceptable, depending on where you are in your walk with the Lord. First, if you have been born again by God through your faith in Jesus Christ, I praise God for this wonderful event in your life. As you well know, everything becomes brand new and life will never be the same. This spiritual transformation of your heart, spirit, soul, and body is news to rejoice over. Because this is a tangible, genuine reality, you will soon discover that all those things you believe in (temples, the Book of Mormon, etc.) will take on an entirely different meaning. Now if you are claiming to be born again through some sort of state by association to the Church, then we have a problem. You see, individuals who have genuinely experienced spiritual rebirth hold to the same core beliefs regardless of denomination. These core beliefs form the foundation upon which everything else stands. If your foundation includes materials that are contrary to God’s Word and the universal elements of rebirth, then your claim of rebirth must be called into question.

When a person claims to be a basketball player but has never touched a basketball or stepped out onto a basketball court, her claim is certainly suspect. If this same individual additionally spends all her time playing tennis yet continually swears to be a basketball player, her testimony is unquestionably faulty. Over the years I have heard many members say (in an almost knee-jerk response) that they have been born again. However, I have never seen any of them display the outward changes that accompany this miracle or the inward transformation of their non-biblical beliefs. In the end, the proof of the pudding is in the eating.

"Jesus said, ‘By their fruits ye shall know them.’ There is no greater evidence of fruits than in the Mormon Church. How do you explain this?"

Because an organization is able to do many wonderful things on earth does not make it truly Christian. The Dalai Lama stands for peace as did Gandhi. Hitler was against the evils of alcohol, sensual theater and community crime. The works of many godless philosophers are recognized as having contributed greatly to humanitarian causes. I personally know several individuals and organizations dedicated to the betterment of humanity with absolutely no connection to God, His Word, or His Son.

We must also remember that Jesus said, "Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. Many of you will heal the sick and cast out devils in my name. And I will say, I never knew you." (Matt. 7:21-23) The fruits or "works" Jesus was speaking of were the fruits of Love that exude from those who have been spiritually born again. They do not necessarily mean a preponderance of earthly accomplishments and deeds that can be tallied and recorded. The product of spiritual rebirth is the love of God made manifest in the lives of those who have experienced it. This love is seen through greater patience, understanding, kindness, long-suffering, and a complete trust in the Lord. It is made known through sharing God’s truth with others freely and turning the other cheek when offended. It is a willingness to accept blame, beg forgiveness, and repent of all the evils humankind is capable of doing. None of these characteristics can be feigned or manipulated, but they instead naturally flow from regeneration. And they are always in accordance with the Word of God.

When an organization accomplishes many wonderful things outside of the Lord’s directives, they have their reward. But it is only those fruits produced from the heart of a regenerated believer (or group of believers) that matter to God. The way to determine if a person is with the Lord is by the fruits of the spirit, not by the fruits of accomplishment.

"I have never heard one single thing evil or bad in the Church. All I have ever experienced are directions to live good lives, to read my scriptures, to pray to Heavenly Father, and to repent of my sins through Jesus Christ. And all the service that is requested of me is aimed at drawing me closer to God and making me a better person. Why do you say the Church is off-course when everything it recommends and does is either good or leads me to being a better person?"

This is an excellent question and I agree with you, from an LDS standpoint, that everything the Church does seems beneficial and uplifting. One of the most difficult things for me to understand in my early years of searching was how the Church could be wrong when everything it represents seemed so right? This did not make sense. And anyone who has truly been a Latter-day Saint knows very well that, in the week-to-week associations with the Church and its leaders, the general membership is never asked to do anything but good.

There are some significant factors to consider, however, relative to this perspective. First of all, there are countless roads that lead to destruction (remember the Lord’s words?). One of the most ingenious and deceptive paths is the one that says, "If you follow this idea here (which is nothing but good), and do this work and behavior there (which is based in good), and you follow this road all your life (which seems and sounds good) you will be eligible to live with God again (because you followed a program that only promoted good)." This was the issue with the Pharisees at the time of Jesus. This was the problem with the law (though the law itself was perfect) and the Children of Israel’s response to it. In other words, it isn’t so much that the good things the Church requires and suggests are in error (who could ever believe that reading the scriptures, praying, fasting, and serving others is wrong?), but it’s the soil from which they spring and the water that nourishes them that makes the directives fail in the end – the soil and water being the doctrinal beliefs that underwrite all the good.

Using this analogy, let’s assume there are two farms on the earth today. One farm raises seeds in soil (rebirth) and water (the Word) straight from God, and the other farm serves as a gigantic co-op using soil, water, and farming techniques brought in from all over the world. In this co-operative farm are sections that have been mismanaged and as a result, are dry, unproductive and overrun with weeds. But there are also areas that are beautifully managed and appear clean and intact. One of these areas shines above the rest. We’ll liken this part of the co-op to the Church. This section of the farm has leaders and managers who do all they can to raise the best crop possible. The water and soil are checked and rechecked to provide a perfect pH balance. Disease, vermin and pests are routinely removed to make this section of the farm secure and productive. Nothing the leaders say or do could ever be constructed as out of line or wrong, and anyone looking at either farm would most certainly believe that this section of the co-op was the best. The problem, however, lies not in the managerial style or their directives. Neither does it lie in their weeding techniques, watering schedules, or pesticide treatments. The problems lie in the soil and water themselves. So while management applies farming techniques that could not be considered anything but good and the seeds grow into healthy, productive-looking plants, the actual fruit – which is a direct product of faulty soil and water (or human ideas) is failing and bitter in the mouth of God.

It is not the directives that make the Church wrong or in error, it is the soil in which the Saints have been planted (the ontology of God, the eternal regression of Gods, the state of humankind, the place of Jesus, etc.) and the human-made water by which they are nourished (the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, the Pearl of Great Price, many modern revelations of Joseph Smith, and the LDS view of the Bible). What is becoming more and more difficult for members and converts to recognize is the difference between the management, directives and care they receive as modern-day members of the Church and the soil in which they have been planted and the water that nourishes them. And though many Latter-day Saints will claim that there is no difference between the fruit of the two farms only they can be absolutely certain of their motivations in their hearts. And if those motivations are the fruits of faulty soil and water, their fruit is of no use to God.

"You’re a returned missionary so this is nothing new to you, but how do you explain the authority to act in God’s name? God has always worked through Men who hold his proper priesthood authority."

Since Born-Again Mormon is not an exhaustive scriptural treatise or an attempt to refute every objectionable LDS doctrine or practice through the Word of God, I am going to give an answer to your question through plain old simple English and one straightforward biblical illustration. Born-Again Mormons know that everything in the Old Testament points forward to the cross of Jesus Christ and everything after the death of the Savior points back to it. To make a long story short, all the authority and Levitical lineage required of holders of the priesthood pointed to the coming authority of Jesus, and every act, rite, spiritual gift, authority, or ecclesiastical position today comes from our faith in Him. So while specific denominations may require that their clergy obtain certain educational levels before they can preach the Word in their specific congregations, the authority (from God) comes by faith in the Lord and the calling (or vocation) comes from Him as well. One biblical story might help illustrate the premise of this position. When Jesus was with His disciples (as recorded in Mark 9:38-40) John the beloved came to him and said,

38. Master, we saw one casting out devils in thy name, and he followed not us: and we forbade him, because he followed not us. 39. But Jesus said, forbid him not: for there is no man that doeth a miracle in my name, that can lightly speak evil of me. 40. For he that is not against us, is on our part.

The authority to act in God’s name comes from faith in the cross. This has been the case since the ascension. Jesus is the high priest, and our faith in Him authorizes us to act in His name.

"What about modern-day prophets? Do you believe there is any more modern-day revelation through prophecy?"

I absolutely believe in modern-day apostles, prophets, and revelation from God to humankind. But these revelations must be in accordance with his divine Word and are given to all manner of modern-day men and women to fortify and perfect the body of Christ. If the question is, "Do I believe that a prophet is needed to ‘guide us in these Latter-Days," the answer again is yes, and His name is Jesus Christ, who can be known only by faith. Anyone who claims to be a prophet after the manner of Moses is not in accordance with biblical truth. The law and the [kind of] prophets [mentioned above] were fulfilled in Jesus Christ.

"What do you think of Gordon B. Hinckley?"

I think he is a life-long Latter-day Saint who has assumed a very large and formidable responsibility as the head of the Church. I think his allegiance is first to the Church, second to the membership, and third to the world, and that he has somehow convinced himself (through means outside biblical truth) that God stands behind the growth and status of the Church. I think he represents good ideals and presents them in an affable, good-natured manner, but I know that he is a sinner (like every other man) and that he needs to experience spiritual rebirth just like everybody else. The world and its inhabitants have always needed good role-models to follow, and I appreciate his model of having lived an upright, clean life. But members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints would fare much better in their relationship with the Lord if President Hinckley promoted the total spiritual renewal of the Saints over the cultural, temporal and practical demands he constantly endorses. Wouldn’t it be refreshing to hear Gordon B. Hinckley (or a president/prophet after him) say something like this during the next general conference:

"My dear brothers and sisters, I am only a man who wants to serve God. And I would ask that each of you remove any portraits or paintings or photographs of me or LDS temples from the walls of your homes and replace them with pictures of Jesus. I would advise you to fall on your knees this day and pour your souls out to God, confessing your sins and pleading for total and genuine spiritual renewal. There is no salvation in the works or ordinances of the Church. There is only salvation through faith on the Lord Jesus Christ. Now let’s turn to God in everything and trust in Him and His ways. Go to the temple if you must but spend your time there praising Him. Sing with a heart full of love and gratitude for what he has done for you. Let’s drop all the religious junk from our past, and repent and turn to the living biblical God for His guidance, His direction, and His spiritual strength."

Maybe he could eliminate contradictory myths and legends members maintain about the position of a modern-day LDS prophet by saying:

"Brothers and sisters of the Church, I would like to make a few things perfectly clear to you this day. First, I have never seen God or Jesus Christ. Second, I have always had to fight against my flesh, and I, too, am in need of the Savior’s redeeming blood. Finally, brothers and sisters, I renounce all the strange and unbiblical doctrines and theologies the Church has at times claimed to be of God and want to publicly proclaim that we no longer hold to them, recognize them, or will do anything to validate them as having ever had a legitimate purpose in the Church. I tell you all this because I want you and your families to stop focusing on me, the brethren or the strange myths or doctrines that surround us, and dedicate your entire souls to God, and to the justification and sanctification He provides to all human beings through faith on His Son. Now, fellow Saints, wherever you may be at this moment, please get on your knees and seek the Father’s forgiveness for the crimes of our past and His blessings upon our biblical future."

Whatever his approach, any real presentation that gets the Saints to place God first in their lives could not possibly be displeasing to God or dangerous to the members. I hope that the men in these positions of power somehow find the strength to be real, speak forth rightly, and lead the Saints to biblical rebirth. This would mean an open confession and renunciation of anything non biblical, including the theological reconfiguration of the LDS ontology of God, the fiction of the Book of Mormon, and the sinful nature of all unregenerate men and women.

"Aren’t you afraid of losing your family?"

When a person places his or her entire heart and life in the trust and care of God, fear flees. Do I believe that I will be with my wife after this life? I believe in the glory and honor of God first. Do I desire to have my children with me in the eternities? I want it if God wants it. The fundamental question here is not, "Will families be together forever?" The bottom-line question is, "Do I place all my faith and trust in Him?" When human beings decide to formulate ideas to help soothe their worried hearts (like the non biblical idea that marriage is eternal and that families will be together forever), it removes the faith and trust God commands His children to have in Him and replaces it with ordinances and theologies that bring false, non biblical hope. So while I love my daughters and wife with every bit of my soul, I love and trust God more, and know, unequivocally, that He will take supreme care of me, my wife, my children, and the rest of my family if they have faith in His Son. No matter how wonderful human ideas are regarding God and the after-life, I trust that God will take care of me and those I love in a much more authentic and superior way.

"I feel the Spirit every time I do what is right and when I attend church or the temple. To me, this is an undeniable spiritual experience that cannot be explained away. How would you interpret these very personal exchanges I’ve had with the Spirit?"

The battle between "feelings" and "the authority of the Word of God" is proverbial. Mormons say they can know truth by how they feel (Moroni 10). Christians say they can test all truth by the Bible. I propose that feelings are far too susceptible to individual interpretation and the nuances of personal whims, desires, and training. I remember being assigned as a high councilor to a singles’ Young Adult Ward years ago and listening to young couples describe how the Lord told them (through their feelings) that they should marry each other. Later on, of course, a few of them ended up divorced. Many people join the Church based on how they feel when they hear the gospel for the first time. Feelings can often betray us. We must turn to God’s authoritative source for truth.

Not long ago, I had lunch with a young man I have known since he was an infant. He asked my opinion of keeping the Sabbath day holy. I told him what the Word of God said about the Sabbath day – that Old Testament Sabbath rest and peace was fulfilled in the rest and peace provided by Jesus every day of the week.

"I don’t agree with you on this one," he said. "Because every time I break the Sabbath, you know, by going to a concert or something, I feel guilty. But every time I go to church on Sunday I feel good, both about myself and when I’m inside the Church. This isn’t something that comes from nothing. Obeying the Sabbath-day makes me feel good, so I know it’s right."

I remained quiet.

"So what do you think about that?" he prodded.

I smiled and said, "Do you really want me to tell you, or would you rather just go on believing that your feelings are right?"

"Tell me," he replied. "I can take it."

"Okay," I said with a prayer in my heart, "I will. You have been a member of the Church your entire life and have been taught to do and not do certain things. From a child you have been taught to keep the Sabbath-day holy and so you assign some very special thoughts and feelings to this day. In your heart and head, there are actions you believe are permissible to do on Sunday and you have also been taught that there are certain things that are improper. Most of what you do or don’t do on Sunday is based on the way you have been taught by the Church and your own family. So where you might think it is okay to watch television on Sunday (because you always have), another member of the Church might think such behavior is a sin. The point here isn’t really what people should or shouldn’t do on Sundays. The point is that everyone has their own personal description of Sabbath-day rights and wrongs. Additionally, you have, since a child, attended church on Sunday. And church is for the most part a wonderful experience where human beings bask in the glow of belonging, of being called brother and sister, of having callings, purpose, and the opportunities to rejoice together in an assortment of shared spiritual commonalities. The Church has in many ways been a second home to you, equipped with its own ward and stake family. Within its walls, you have been taught what Heavenly Father expects, what is good, what is evil, and you associate with other like-minded Saints for the purpose of fellowship and growth. The vast majority of your experiences within the walls of the Church have been positive. People dress better, comb their hair, smell nice, speak in gentle tones, are kind and considerate, and outwardly express themselves in terms of an ideal, rather than in terms of reality. For the past nineteen years, you have relied on the Church – the building, the people, the programs, and the prophet – to serve as your physical connection to an unseen God. And from the Church building, primarily on Sabbath days, you have heard hundreds of testimonies, witnessed missionary farewells, given talks, sang beautiful hymns, and associated with some of your closest friends.

Now, take all of this away for a day and you’re left with a void. How does the absence make a person feel? Not only are you absent from the actual structure where you have enjoyed so much peace and acceptance, but you are also participating in an activity that you have always been told you should not do on this specific day of the week. Naturally, you feel guilty and shameful, and naturally you long to return to those things that have always made you feel good and worthy before God. But if you really think about it you’ve got to know that this is not God talking. This is man talking to your preconditioned heart."

He sat without even blinking.

"The thing is," I continued, "holiness, peace, and rest are not found in a day of the week any longer. They’re found in Jesus. You can have the peace and rest of the Sabbath day with you every day through Him. This is His promise. Remember, ‘Come unto me, and I will give you rest.’ All the practices of the Old Testament were fulfilled when He came." In fact," I continued, "you can’t even obey the Sabbath day because the covenant was between God and the Children of Israel, not the Christian Church or Bride of Christ. Also, you haven’t been keeping the Sabbath day because the penalty for breaking it was death. When was the last time you saw someone put to death for breaking the Sabbath?"

"But," he said, looking up but not answering my question. "I still can’t get over the way I feel when I obey the Sabbath day."

"Feelings are subject to manipulation. With the right amount of pressure and influence, most people will learn to feel right about almost anything."

"But what else is there?" he innocently asked.

"The Word of God."

"You mean the scriptures?"

"I mean the Bible. When you come to see the Bible as God’s Word to us, you have your authoritative source of truth and you won’t go wrong."

"But doesn’t that come through feelings too?"

"No. When you come to trust God’s Word as reliable, then you will read it with a whole new set of eyes. And you take His Word in the context of the whole, not just through picking and choosing your favorite passages and applying them to a certain situation. When the Bible becomes your source of ultimate truth, then your feelings – with all the personal and subjective junk that comes along with them – will take a back seat to His Word and will. Only then can you judge whether you are choosing God’s ways or man’s."

"Are you saying that people can know truth only from the Bible?"

"I’m saying that whatever happens in your life – whether you have some real strong feelings, a visit from an angel, or someone in the Church telling you to eat meat only two months out of the year, the Bible will authoritatively confirm whether these things are of God or of Man."

"What about the prophet?" he asked.

"Turn to your Bible and find out."

"What about the Word of Wisdom?"

"Check out what the Bible has to say."

"But it doesn’t. It can’t answer everything. That’s why we need a living prophet."

"That is human beings talking. That is our unwillingness to trust in God or His Word. It’s really quite simple. God created us. We sinned. God offered us salvation from sin through his Son. God now provides His Word and Holy Spirit to form, guide, and support us once we accept His Son. Prophets took the place of the Word before Jesus came and died. The Sabbath day took the place of Jesus before Jesus came and died. Temples took the place of Jesus before Jesus came and died. But once Jesus came and took on the cross and died for us, everything flows out from Him. And God’s Word attests to this."

"So why do we (Latter-day Saints) believe so much other stuff?" he asked.

"Because human beings and their organizations always need to do more, add more, fix things, make them easier, or more logical. Think of it this way. God takes a large canvas and paints the most glorious portrait of His Son. Then He places the canvas in the middle of a large public area where people have gathered for thousands of years to socialize, worship, and exchange ideas. As the days and years pass, certain men – some well-meaning and some with evil intent – question the sufficiency or completeness of the portrait. Some decide to paint their own portraits and place them below, beside, and even above God’s painting of His Son. Some people write out lengthy explanations with detailed analysis of the work of art, adding their own interpretation of what the portrait ‘means.’ Over time, some people actually erect buildings around the portrait and say the buildings belong to Him, and some people reject the picture all together, claiming it is outdated, of questionable origin, not reliable, or even meaningless. In the end, human beings almost always decide that their views and perspectives are far superior to the original ideas or presentations of God, and will add, distort, change, deny, renounce, and modify almost everything God has originally said or done. This is why the Church believes in so much other stuff – because Latter-day Saints decided that God’s portrait was not enough. They couldn’t be more wrong."

"Everything in the Church makes way too much sense for it to be wrong. There is no way Joseph Smith could have conjured up the perfect logic and reasoning of the Restoration on his own. I almost believe in the Church based on the logic of it alone."

I have a two-part response to this statement. First of all, many phenomenal philosophies and bodies of theology have come from human beings that tend to make sense. Consider Marxism and the effect, albeit negative, it has had on the world. There’s also scientology and L. Ron Hubbard, Mary Baker Eddie and the Christian Scientists, William Taze Russell and the Jehovah’s Witnesses, Mohammed and Islam, etc., etc. Because something is logical and sensible does not mean it should ever usurp the place of God’s perfect Word and will. This said, Joseph Smith was a genius in the area of human sociology and needs. He possessed gifts and used those gifts to progressively formulate a comprehensive religious superstructure. Capable men who followed in his footsteps molded and shaped and did the finishing work on this structure. I do not claim that LDS theology is illogical or empty. I claim that its end result – spiritually unregenerate members -- is empty. Second, (and I present this challenge with a great deal of caution and prayer) at what point did the gospel of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints make perfect sense? Was it from the onset in 1820? 1830? 1850? 1905? The point is (and this is an extremely important point) no member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints should ever, ever believe that he or she has a testimony of any non biblical aspect of the gospel or Church unless he or she has personally researched everything about the doctrine including its origins, its history, and the dates and circumstances surrounding its implementation. This not only means reading the Church’s descriptions of the who, what, where, when, and why of the theology, but it also includes all the respectable academic sources available on the topics as well. Then, and only then, can anyone legitimately stand forth and claim he or she knows that something is true, false, or totally logical. I would specifically recommend a thorough review of the history, chronology, and reports regarding the First Vision.

Of course, many active Latter-day Saints will argue this point from a number of sides. Church leadership usually responds by saying that we don’t need to know everything about a doctrine or topic to have a testimony of it. The Spirit will tell them that the information is true and that this is all we really need. To this response I cry foul loud and long. How can we say we know something is true if we don’t really know anything about the subject to which we give our faith and allegiance? Many people have asked me over the years what I think about Joseph Smith. I usually turn the question back on them, and the conversation typically gets pretty interesting. Several years ago I had the following debate with a full-time missionary assigned to our ward on this very topic.

After the young elder questioned me about my thoughts on the founding prophet, I asked, "Why don’t you tell me, Elder, what you think of Joseph Smith."

"I know he was a prophet of God," he said.

"Do you know much about him or his life?" I asked.

"I’ve read a little. And I know his work."

"How can you know something about someone without really knowing them at all?"

"I can know that my dentist is a good dentist without knowing anything else about his personal and private life."

"Good point," I said, "but what if your dentist claimed that his dental techniques came from God? This changes the rules, doesn’t it?"

"Maybe."

"Would you be willing to look at other aspects of your dentist’s life if he made such claims?"

"Maybe."

"Now what would you do," I asked, "if there was an enormous amount of verifiable and reliable information publicly available on your dentist? Would you check him out then?"

He paused for a minute. "Maybe."

"And let’s say that you do check him out, especially in light of his claims to have the only dental techniques approved of by God, and you discover all sorts of facts you have never heard or known about him before?"

"Like what?"

"Like the poor grades he received in college, a very sketchy dental school record, lawsuits filed against him, the number of complaints his own hygienists have made attacking his character, conflicting dental techniques he’s promoted over the years, wrong teeth pulled, dental partner fall outs, improper billing practices, and an assortment of conflicting approaches to his theories on God’s dental demands. Would you still believe he was not only a good dentist, but that he could be trusted and that his dental skills really were authorized by God himself?"

"I don’t think I’d believe everything I read," he smugly stated.

"That would be a normal first reaction," I continued. "After all, he’s been a good dentist to you, and you really want to believe he’s good, right?"

"That’s what matters," he said with new found confidence. "How his work affects my life today."

"Really?" I quickly asked. "So nothing you’ve learned about him would be important to the way you view or trust him in the future?"

He looked me right in the eye with a certain amount of defiance. "Nope."

"Well, you know what you’re saying, don’t you, Elder?"

He didn’t respond.

"You’re saying that you are determined to believe what you want to believe in spite of the facts."

"It’s called faith, Brother McCraney."

"I understand that you think it’s faith, Elder, but faith is based on substance and evidence, not on selective perspectives. Anything selectively presented is called propaganda and it is presented in this way to sway, rather than truly inform and educate. It’s single sided. Would you buy a car this way, only looking at one side? Would you buy a house this way? Only looking at the outside? In order to possess genuine faith, a person must be willing to examine all of the substantive facts and evidence before he or she possesses faith. Not because these facts produce faith. They don’t. But because you have to know what you are having faith in in the first place. Get it? In other words, faith cannot exist in ignorance. Only ignorance exists in ignorance. Real faith is much stronger and refined only after it has been exposed and tried by all the factors that challenge it."

He looked as if he was disconnecting from the discussion, his eyes focusing on the empty church hall behind me.

"Elder," I continued, "if you want truth, then examine everything. I promise you, the truth will then set you free."

"But I don’t need to examine everything. The Spirit tells me the truth. It does the examining for me."

"How? How does the Spirit tell you truth?" "By how I feel. How I feel inside. How I feel when I hear the gospel."

"You realize, Elder, that your senses are an inferior way to know God. There are an awful lot of people in the world who naturally trust in their senses to guide their lives. It feels good, it satisfies the flesh and intellect, but the end results are not a pretty sight."

"How else can I know Him?"

"By His Word." "But I still have to rely on my feelings to know what is true and what is not, even when I study the scriptures."

"There’s a difference between your feelings and the Holy Spirit of Truth. One is based on your interpretation of what is right and feels good and the other is communicated to your Spirit by the Spirit of God."

"Through my heart, by the burning in my bosom – which is a feeling."

"It’s not a burning feeling or physical response, and it’s not a psychic or emotive feeling. It is God contacting your spirit, and the description is far beyond the realm of emotions, feelings or burnings. It’s other-worldly (not of this world) because it is the Spirit of God communicating with a human spirit only after we have been cleansed by the blood of Jesus Christ."

"I don’t know about you, Brother McCraney," he said, placing a hand on my shoulder as if to counsel me. "I think you’re looking way too deep into things."

I gently removed his hand from off of the top of my shoulder and looked him in the eye. "Elder," I said, "you can’t have faith in something without evidence or substance. If you insist on claiming that you know the Church was restored by Joseph Smith, that the Book of Mormon and everything else in the Church is true, investigate everything you hold sacred in the Church first, and then we’ll talk. Any discussion before is not real, not right, and not acceptable to the ideals of knowing truth."

"I’ll just follow the prophet," he said before walking away.

"And I’ll just follow the Lord and his Word." I replied.

The point is that no one can (legitimately) say he or she has a real testimony of anything in the Church unless he or she has attempted to understand the major elements that played a part in the implementation of the doctrine or practice in the first place. How can someone say they know Joseph Smith saw God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ unless they review the recorded and available history of the event? How could somebody say they know God restored His Church back to the earth unless they examine what the Church was supposed to be from the beginning?

Some people might argue that the same examination should occur when considering the tenets of Christianity. But the comparison is not a good one. As mentioned earlier, the Bible stands firmly on a foundation of historical, genetic and linguistic proofs and supports while the Book of Mormon, the keystone to the LDS faith, stands on nothing. Informed belief is good. Ignorant belief is merely an extension of ignorance.

"Why would anyone believe you and your interpretation of the truth when literally millions of other men and women (who have lived good, worthy lives) claim that the Church is true?"

This question was asked by someone who has known me for years and has witnessed firsthand most of my personal failures, sins, improprieties, and troubles resulting from my personal weaknesses and struggles in life (See Chapter 3, "Rebirth"). It is a valid query and demands a fair response. In many ways, the question, and my response to it, perfectly represent my drive to write Born-Again Mormon in the first place.

While I am well aware that a great number of stalwart Saints faithfully give their total allegiance to the Church and its doctrines, I am more than certain that the majority of Latter-day Saints do not subscribe to most or all of the theological beliefs the Church poses as absolute. I have had far too many conversations over the years with men and women who, in confidence, privately admit that the emperor has no clothes. And though members hear an awful lot of people claiming absolute belief in the golden plates, the Pearl of Great Price, plural marriage, temple rites, the Word of Wisdom, dress standards, priesthood authority, and the like, it is my humble contention that most people are members of the Church because of, (1) the culture, (2) the structure the Church provides for their families in the face of this world, (3) habit, (4) fear, and 5) spiritual resignation. Unfortunately, not one of these reasons will justify any of us before our all-good God.

Because so many Latter-day Saints doubt most of the doctrinal peculiarities in the present Church, there is not only a fantastic opportunity to bring them to the Lord through spiritual rebirth but also the hope that the Church organization will, in response to the spiritual change of its membership, take a turn toward the Lord, too. Just imagine a time when LDS parents and their children praise the Lord openly and honestly speak with each other about the great goodness of our God. The Jews do it. Born-Again Christians do it. Why don’t Latter-day Saints praise God? Think about the genuine spiritual freedom members of the Church could experience when they freely accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior and focus on His Word in every meeting and class. Imagine the liberty Latter-day Saints will have once they remove all the legalisms that hold them captive and embrace the diversity the gospel of Jesus Christ affords every believer. No longer would human beings rule with shirts and ties and condemnations, but God would rule each heart with greater peace, deeper love, and the willingness to forgive and accept others as they turn their lives over to the Lord. The Church could maintain its organizational super-structure with only a few modifications, and the membership could continue to enjoy the programs, family supports, and structure the Church provides – but all from the regenerated spirit of Christianity and the joy in knowing and praising the Lord.

This is not the dream or vision of some pseudo-prophet type. I have received no visions, dreams, or revelations. Born-Again Mormon is not a book I hold up as divinely inspired or infallible. I am not a Mormon fundamentalist and I am not an anti-Mormon. I am simply a man who was born under the covenant, attended church, served a mission, married in the temple, was called to positions of leadership, and who never once believed himself worthy or acceptable before God – until now. I do not claim to have anything anyone should want to embrace but what is God’s. And I am the last person to say that I am inspired or worthy of God’s blessings on my own. If I have ever been anything or if I ever will be anything, it is through the justification and sanctification I have received through the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. Personal worthiness is a lie manufactured by human beings and nobody who remains unregenerate by God ever was or ever will be worthy before God. This is the point of Born-Again Mormon: To call latter-day sinners to the Lord through spiritual rebirth.

"How do you explain the growth, power, and might of the Church today? What about the accomplishments of so many LDS leaders/members in terms of education, contributions to society, health, wealth, and family? Pound for pound, it’s hard to compete with the Church’s collective success."

The question remains, is earthly success indicative of God’s truth and righteousness in today’s world? Some say yes (but only in the case when those who have wealth have placed the Church first in their lives). But I would strongly disagree.

The children of Israel were given the blessings of prosperity if they obeyed God’s Word and will. This made it very easy to know the people’s place with God on a day-to-day basis. If the children of Israel did well, they were blessed beyond measure; but if they purposefully or even ignorantly rebelled against God, punishments followed. Prosperity teachers today (in the Christian community) attempt to teach these same principles. So does the Church. Usually this is done by quoting extensively from the Old Testament and the Book of Mormon.

When Jesus came to the earth, he promised spiritual blessings in heaven for those who followed Him, in addition to suffering, difficulty, challenge, and persecution as part of the price for faith on Him. He said that His kingdom was not of this world and those that followed him would often be persecuted and lacking a place to even rest. The Jews of the day couldn’t understand it. Why would anyone want to follow a leader who promised suffering and rejection? In other words, the prosperity teachings of the Old Testament were fulfilled in Jesus Christ crucified; and now all wealth, power, and promises of comfort are spiritual and come by way of faith in Him. Any rewards are promised after this life. However, this does not mean that God has ceased to bless some of his children with earthly wealth and success. He certainly does. But we must not forget that the world does, too.

If temporal success, growth, admiration, and accomplishment are indicative of organizational (or personal) righteousness and the possession of absolute truth, then the world’s richest corporations and individuals must be the most favored of God. Obviously, this is not the case. The trouble with this question is that, on the one hand, it uses the growth and money of the Church as indicators of God’s favor toward the Church; but at the same time the Church denounces the world at every opportunity to the general membership. Man cannot serve God and mammon. It is either the World and all it offers, or it is God and all He promises. Jesus said He would take over the world by meek and lowly means, not with power and might. The very evidence of financial success and power cause me to not praise the organization, but to greatly question the source or origin of its powers.

Another view that I’ve been working on for a while regarding this topic might add some value to the issue.

Christians are not big on the "human soul." They correctly interpret soulish man to be a man who has not been spiritually reborn and who lives his life according to his will and ways rather than God’s. Additionally, Christians are not very big fans of the flesh. The bottom line is that Christians believe people must be born again in their spirit and then live according to God with this reborn spirit, not the flesh or the soul, guiding their lives.

Latter-day Saints, however, constantly refer to the soul in positive terms. At the same time, they believe that the human soul needs to learn to be in tune with the spirit of God. This is because Latter-day Saints believe that the human spirit came from God with its own identity and that this spirit united with a (good) body to become a living soul. In other words, the soul is good, and the soul is what human beings live by when in this world, as long as it subjects itself to listening to the Spirit. Even the LDS sacrament prayers say, "to the souls of all those who partake (drink) of it . . . ."

Because the soul is defined as good to Latter-day Saints, as is the body (flesh), it follows that the natural realm or dominion that Latter-day Saints have by way of their beliefs is in the material world, in worldly success. Where the soul is renounced and placed in the subjection of God through rebirth, and the body is to also fall under spiritual subjection, true Christians look not to this world for success, but count, as the Bible promises, on spiritual success and blessings once this life is through.

"You have become an attacker of the Church because you haven’t been able to live up to what the Church demands. Since you can’t stand the guilt of your failures, you have taken on easier religious views, made yourself feel better, and now call the Church false because you can’t stand the fact that other people are able to really live the way the Church describes! Shame on you!"

Because I was a Latter-day Saint, I understand where this idea originates and how it seems so right to your thinking. But let’s examine your accusation by first agreeing that what you are saying is absolutely correct – I have not been able to live up to what the Church demands. But my question to you is: can anyone? If you’re honest, you have to agree that it is an impossibility. And if you have convinced yourself that you are living up to everything the Church demands, you are young in your thinking and need to really examine your thoughts. Since no one on earth can live up to all that the Church demands, then all that the Church demands must serve some other purpose.

Suppose your parents sat you down at a very young age and laid out the following expectations for you:

You must never get a grade less than an A.
You must always act happy.
You must strive to avoid anger.
You must never get any dirt or stains on your clothing.
You must always drink five 12 ounce glasses of water a day.
You must never be outside the home past 3 p.m.
You must never raise your voice except in an emergency.
You must maintain a spotless room.
You must practice the piano two hours a day.
You must never eat candy.
You must maintain 10% body fat or less.
You must memorize one page of the Bible a week.
You must not think bad thoughts.

And suppose that every night of every day, your mother or father repeated these statements to you as though your very life depended on your obeying them exactly. If you took your parents seriously and wanted to follow them what would be the result? How would you constantly feel? Most importantly, what would be your reaction if you failed to live up to these impossible expectations? Who would you fear and to whom would you seek forgiveness and absolution? From your parents, right? From the authors of the rules! Only they can provide solace because they made the rules. So you return to Mom and Dad and confess your failures and they patiently endeavor to motivate you to greater diligence. After leaving, you feel good and are actually determined to meet their expectations; but again, after a while, you fail. After so many attempts and so many failures, you are left with only a few realistic responses.

First, you could continue to run and fall at your parents’ feet, seeking forgiveness for your failures while offering promises of greater efforts. Second, you could lie about your failures and pretend to be good. Third, you could rebel against everything your parents have demanded, or fourth, you could stay in the home and fight against the impossible rules out of love for your younger brothers and sisters.

Now put the Church in the shoes of your parents and the Church’s expectations in the place of theirs’. There is no way anyone can meet all the expectations the Church lays forth as vital to salvation/exaltation. Have you ever noticed that on almost any given gospel topic some General Authority or another calls it the most important theology or doctrine of the Church?

With such a host of impossible expectations placed before a people (even for those who genuinely want to please the Lord and accomplish everything He is supposedly demanding), the only possible result is failure. And since failure produces guilt, and guilt produces emotional discomfort, those who fail are essentially limited to the same responses as those who fail to meet the impossible expectations of their parents. Some people choose to return to the authors (or defenders) of these impossible expectations (the Church) and with great contrition beg for forgiveness and plead for further direction. But in time this cycle repeats itself and genuine seekers of God are forced to either face the futility of the predicament or allow themselves to be driven into a deeper state of mindless allegiance to institutional demands.

Having taken this latter course, most people become belief-blinded and are incapable of seeing any other option of living outside of the institutional demands that govern their lives. Those who choose to face the futility of trying to live up to impossible expectations either continue to support the Church through feigned attitudes of belief or they rebel. Those who rebel generally take one of two courses. The first course is to rebel against God and His commandments which is nonsensical and serves as the religious equivalent of rioters burning their own community down. The second rebellious reaction includes the painful task of remaining an active member of the Church while doing all a person can to change the system. Obviously, I have taken the latter path.

"No matter what you can prove or claim, the Church is the best religion in the world, and I think you are doing a very evil thing to attack it. The world would be a much better place with more LDS people around and fewer people like you."

Your statement brings up a very good question: Is our earthly and eternal relationship with God based on our religious dedication or on faith? Believe me, I know what a wonderful religion The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is. And I know that, compared to other churches out on the sea of religious organizations, the Latter-day Saints run the best ship around. If I were going to join a Church to help me cross the desert, it would be the Latter-day Saints. If I were looking for a Church to help me keep control of my children, it would be the Saints. If I were looking to join a Church to help me learn the skills of managing people, leading others, and organizing my home affairs, it would be the LDS Church. Even if I wanted a Church to make me feel good about myself and to help me feel as if I belong to something important in life, it would be the LDS Church.

But because I want to know God through the promise of spiritual rebirth, I also know that no Church will get me there. It is my broken heart, my supplicating the Lord, my desire to have Him change my crummy existence, and my trust and faith in His will and ways. And though organized religious practice does have a place in the life of every believer, its place is not a primary concern but should instead prompt people to turn to God for everything and then support them through a comprehensive and educated study of the Word. Hard as this is to hear, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints – because of its doctrine – fails miserably in this area. This is why I write what I write, say what I say, and do what I do. My apologies if I offend your religious sensibilities. But maybe in order to know the Lord through rebirth, your religious sensibilities need to be offended. I strongly suggest you look into it.